My Simple Community

July 14, 2010

Dogs are clearly more work than cats. But they also provide added benefits. You HAVE to walk the dog which means at least once a day you are out in the neighborhood. A dog, therefore, becomes the automatic elimination of awkwardness and the natural opening to be friendly.

See someone new walking a dog down your street?  Just ask “What’s your dog’s name?”  From that point on, say hi to the dog when you see them.  Then, once you work up the nerve, say hi to the neighbor too.

The dog also makes local parks a place of neighborly gathering. And because we are creatures of habit, we tend to hit the park about the same time every day. As a result, dog lovers know there is a dog-park community that forms.

If the rest of your living situation permits it, consider bringing a dog into your home. The dog can single pawedly (I know, I made up the word) be your ambassador to end community awkwardness.

July 12, 2010

Who knew?

Last week I wrote a “5 minute community” post about baking cookies for a neighbor you don’t normally encounter.  Ok, I’m sticking to the five minute thing even though they have to bake for 10-15 minutes. It’s not like I have to stand around and supervise the oven.  The set up, the take out, the putting them on a plate, the taking them to the neighbor, all within five minutes…give or take.

But who knew? The HARD part is giving them away? Think about it. How would you react if a guy in his fifties who you maybe sort of recognize but you are not quite sure why comes up to your door with a plate of cookies? Talk about awkward.

I think I learned something new from this. “Simple” community is not enough. It also needs to be “natural” community.  So the cookies idea still stands, but maybe give them to someone you already know and who would appreciate the emotional lift without question. And yet, I’m thinking it may be the most important thing we do. What are the odds that those with whom we feel awkward now are the very people who most need the community we are trying to develop?

I learned something else. Inviting new people to engage in your community is likely to be awkward and require work. Extending your community within your neighborhood may not be quite so simple.

So this post is the first in the “How Awkward…” category.  My hope here is to find simple and natural ways to extend your community to include people you don’t know yet but are near by you. Frankly, I don’t have the answer to that. But I love the challenge. And I am certain a lot of people have figured out how to convert complex, unnatural, awkward social interactions into simple, natural and extended community. I hope there are many posts in the “How Awkward…” bucket to come.